I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
