i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
