even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
