I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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