DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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