The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
