I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
