I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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