that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
