Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
