so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
