I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
