he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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