1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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