Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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