I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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