He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
