The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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