what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
