I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
