dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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