i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
