Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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