i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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