So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
