I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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