now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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