But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
