Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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