Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize