I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
