I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
