she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
