Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
