Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
