You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
