I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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