I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
