i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
