I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
