my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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