Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
