and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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