..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
