So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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