I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
kristin has been a bad kristin
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
