thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
