just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Randomize
