He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
