I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
