yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
