Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can I color on your dick again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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