So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
