She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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