If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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