Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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