somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish i was in the wii world.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
