the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
