First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
