I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize