We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
