Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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