girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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