we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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