How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize