dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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